Thursday, December 04, 2008

More job cuts announced

Santa to cut 12,000 jobs and slash spending

Thu Dec 4, 2008 10:13am EST

Santa Claus said he would eliminate 12,000 jobs, or about 4 percent of his workforce, a fresh wave of cuts to cope with an economic downturn that has exacerbated a decline in the irrational exuberance of children.

Santa said on Thursday he will cut the jobs over the remainder of 2008 and 2009, and take a charge of about $600 million in this year's fourth quarter for severance.

Santa attributed the job cuts to "economic pressures, a changing business mix and a more streamlined organizational structure."

Santa also plans to cut his 2009 capital spending from this year's levels, though actual spending plans have not yet been finalized. Santa said he would provide details on his capital spending in late January.

The cuts come as the Santa Claus struggles with declining demand, as many children switch their hopes to cheaper, Chinese-made plastic toys, and away from the traditional Elvin-crafted playthings.

The move follows Santa’s April announcement of cutting 4,600 jobs, mostly in management, as well as a three-year plan disclosed at the end of last year to cut 10,000 jobs.

Santa has been trying to maintain childhood irrational exuberance by investing in new, high-speed Internet and video services. But, children have yet to embrace the new wooden snowpod devices or elf-tunes music service. Said Christopher Robbins, a potential customer and Pooh-companion, “I checked out the music service, but who wants to listen to flutes and lutes?”

Nonetheless Santa has promised there will be no interruption of services this year, but if trends continue he may face some belt tightening and leaner days.

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Foot Quotes

"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge"

Charles Darwin