It's fun to stay at the YMCA

We're approaching an election and you know what that means, time for republicans to swift-boat democrats.

Karl Rove has been the chief architect of some of the worst tactics in US political history (belittling decorated veterans of both parties, including during a time of war).

I got to thinking that it seems unfair that he gets to slime, then sit safely in the background. So, I thought, why not get ahead of the game with a little Rove storyline...

Many people don't know this, but Karl Rove in his early days was a songwriter. He was considered a decent writer of blues songs and had a moderate success with "The Day is Dawning", when Jimmy Witherspoon included the song on his album "Jay's Blues".

But, success, such as it was, went to his head. He became ambitious and star-struck and decided to become somebody. Ahead of his time he refashioned himself as Commander Karl and wore brown suede shorts, a shirtless black leather vest, a captains hat, and flip-flops. Often he'd carry a riding crop and wear a bandana around his neck.

One day the young Karl was in Greenwich Village and he bumped into Jacques Morali who was auditioning new talent for a group he had in mind. Karl devoted himself to making the audition but on that fateful day he was turned down for being, "too gay". The blow might have been mild if the group, later known as "The Village People", hadn't gone on to fame and fortune.

Jaded, frustrated, furious, and dejected Karl swore off his musical career and decided to go where he wouldn't have to face rejection. He became a political consultant.

To this day on the anniversary of his rejection he dresses up as Commander Karl and shouts out his hatred of all things Village People. In a moment of recklessness uncharacteristic of him, he hired a gay prostitute named Jim Guckert/ Jeff Gannon, dressed him up as a construction worker, and hurled a mixture of homerotic and homophobic comments at him. After one such session Jim wandered into the white house press gaggle by mistake and on a whim asked a softball question of the president.



That was fun.